fanthom ride

A long day yesterday was, indeed, but a filled day, a fun day, a surprising day. Started as usual, with a gym visit with Aimee and Cobi, and the goal of hitting three stores by noon. Spent more time in the gym, 50 minutes of cardio, plus machines plus some weights. Saw a cocky father pushing his scrawny teen son into doing weights I considered too heavy for him, which both annoyed me but at the same time made me think that I wish I had a father like that - the only thing promoted in my family was intellectual growth, nothing physical was ever addressed (left to the schools, with mixed to failed results). My fellow residents left the gym before I finished, so I had a walk alone, which I like a lot actually, as I like walking and being alone. Found them in the kitchen on my way back, and realized that between shower and doing all the errands, I'd not have enough time.

So I took my shower (also postponed laundry) and decided not to go to the art supply store. Went to Target to find a long sleeve t-shirt, found one that looked like a Jean Paul Gaultier rip off (horizontal marine blue stripes, buttons on one shoulder - the only one in the entire store), a bit too big but hopefully it will shrink a bit in the wash. Comfy too. Found a panama hat that fit me too (a bit too small but good) that reminded me of my grandfather, 100% paper (Aimee is going to fashion a strap for me out of paper as well, too windy here, almost lost it twice). Got some cleaning supplies for the bathroom and headed to Smiths for my grocery staples (organic mixed greens, vine tomatoes, bananas, and low sodium turkey breast, on sale, cheaper than MI). Made it back to the institute, prepared a salad, changed into the new outfit, and met Aimee in the commons.

Our goal: Ghost Ranch. She drove one of the institute's car, a beat up Honda Civic with a paint job similar to my good ol' Schwarz, matt black in certain parts. Made a run to Trader Joe's for some snacks, and a run to Subway to use their bathroom, and off we went... the wrong way. We were on the right road, St. Francis, but went too far, until it ended. We turned around and found our way, all with the help of a printed out Google map, which seemed extremely straight forward (only 5 points, no major changes). We drove sans radio, just talking and enjoying the scenery. In a weird and unexpected way, it felt SO good to get away from everything and everyone, even though I am enjoying pretty much everything and everyone there. Maybe it is because I am hitting the one week mark, who knows. We drove and talked, the sky was open, the sun was shining and the further we got away from Santa Fe, the prettier it got. We suddenly saw a canyon and a rest place came up, so we pulled up to take pictures, I even crossed the road, but my camera sucks so I am not sure what was captured by the camera even approached the actual experience. a truck drove by and honked the horn - I suspect that from behind I might look a bit like that Madeleine character, with the stripes and the hat. There was this woman talking on the phone at the rest stop, with two dogs, one huge one small, and a van. She finished her call and we all chatted a bit. She was from Brooklyn NY, on her way back from Bisbee Arizona where she had spread the ashes of her recently deceased dog (born there) and where she had gotten her new puppy, a cute but weird-looking dog, I thought a mix of a Saint Bernard with a Wiener dog (fluffy and teddybear-like but with stumpy legs). Got back in the car and realized we were close to Taos, 4 miles away, which was not where we wanted to be. We had noticed that the road number had changed to 68 (we were supposed to be on 285/84) but made no notice of it because they have poor signage around here. Through the phone we realized we were heading the wrong direction, so we turned around, and ended up adding about an hour to our journey, which would make us late for our destination.

The goal of the trip was for Aimee to meet her friend Ching-In at a writer's workshop, and we were to arrive to watch a Craft talk, whatever that was supposed to be. My personal goal was to go to a place I have heard about since college and experience something new. As Aimee drove I texted Ching-In (someone she met 5 years prior at another residency, and someone whom I had never met), and hoped she had signal there to get the message, another common issue in NM, the dropping of service at any time. Drove back towards Española until Aimee spotted a tiny sign that said Abiquiu, which was the general vicinity of our destination, so she took a sharp turn and off we went on a tine secondary road, at times using the spotty GPS. Eventually we hit back 285/84 and within minutes the landscape became breath-taking, out of this world. We drove towards a dam, stopped at a gas station for a pee and icecream break, and randomly ran into Avery, Lisa's girlfriend whom I had met the day before. The encounter was so surreal (she looked really pretty, standing by this huge truck with a jet sky on its bed, and as I said hi I almost thought it was someone else, because the encounter was so random, so I walked in and let her talking to Aimee). She was on her way back to town from swimming at the dam, I imagine. Aimee asked if we were headed the right way, and they (Avery and her friend) thought so but were not sure, because they had never been to the Ghost Ranch. Art people always think the general population is as interested on our sites as we are, and that is never the case lol.

After the gas station stop we continued on our drive and the landscape kept getting more and more beautiful. We even recognized some mountain formations we think Georgia O'Keeffe included in some of her paintings. Finally found the entrance to Ghost Ranch, an uphill dirt road, and we drove on it for a couple minutes until I checked the GPS and it told us we had not gone far enough on the main road, so we once again turned around and got back on the road. The actual place on the GPS was only a few minutes away, and by the time we got there we found this closed up reception center, with a sign directing people to go to the entrance we had just been at. Better safe than sorry. We drove up the ranch road (which directed us towards the most beautiful rock formations with the most gorgeous light ever), and all one could hear from us was "wow" or laughter. Even though the drive was so complicated we had a good time doing it, the time did not take forever, and there were no awkward moments at all.

We finally found the reception area, went up to it, and found out where we were supposed to go, which was maybe 50 feet away. We joked that maybe that was the only hiking we'd get done, since we wanted to go back before it got dark. Ching-In had another event to go to after the talk (a dinner and a reading), so we were not sure if we'd had the time to do anything else.

We walked towards the Agave building, which reminded me of a church Adobe-style, with high ceilings and a mezzanine with extra seating. What would be the altar part of the building was backed by a wall of glass, facing the road (though it sat on a hill). Aimee and I walked towards the glass wall and realized that the entire audience could see us, so we walked around and through a low wall that formed a courtyard (with an iron-rod bell above the arch) and peaked at the talk. we decided to go to an attached building to make sure we were in the right place. A blond woman sat on a leather arm chair, the room filled with them, but the woman sat there alone, reading. Aimee asked if the craft talk was happening in the other building and we got a genuinely nice reply in confirmation. That woman reminded me a bit of the actress that played Anne Boleyn on The Tudors, but only if she had blond curly hair and wore yoga clothes. I decided it was best for me to put on my sneakers (wearing flipflops till then), as there were tons of rocks everywhere and the place was so beautiful I wanted to hike.

As we walked back this woman exits the lecture hall, smiles and waves at us, so I wave back thinking she was just being friendly. She then runs towards us and I realize she is Ching-In Chen, Aimee's friend. We are introduced, she tells us she had to go to the bathroom, and when she returns she invites us to go inside, and immediately people make room for us. There was a guy talking in the front of the room, I assumed the teacher, a short man, either Asian or Hispanic, I could not tell. He was telling stories, which I later understood to be the Q&A part of his craft workshop. I looked around and the room was filled with people, the Santa Fe types for sure, but also all kinds of people, a wonderful diversity I have not seen in a long time, all ages, colors, styles, etc. I did not pay attention to the Q&A, but clapped at the appropriate moments, and smiled when everyone laughed.

The talk ended and we all exited the room, I noticed the guy sitting next to me had left his journal inside, and there was money in it, so I looked for him and told him where it was. Ching-In told us they had a communal dinner and that they never checked for badges, so we all got in line and helped ourselves with some lasagna, garlic bread, green beans and a ceasar salad, in addition to some tiramisu-inspired dessert. The food was quite yummy, and the dining hall huge. We sat together at a table by the window and I got to know Ching-In better (totally adore her now), and they caught up with their own stuff (it'd been 5 years since they last saw each other, I believe).

[it's taken me all day to write this entry, and the day has turned from great to not so good, so I am having a real hard time concentrating and remembering things, sorry if this seems rushed, but I have no joy right now, but writing does provide me with some motivation to face the rest of the day. I hope to come back to this and really describe Ching-In and our exchanges, but for now what follows is an abbreviated view]

After dinner we could not decide what to do. It was past 6:30 (we had left SFAI at 1:30 pm) and we wanted to head back before it was dark. Ching-In had her schedule open until 8:00, so she looked on her guide for short hikes we could take. We ended up just walking around the grounds, Ching-In actually cut her foot open because she was wearing flipflops, but someone walked by and happened to have one in her bag, and gave her one immediately. Ching-In was very nice about introducing us all to everyone that came by, a habit I love in others (I can't stand when someone just stands there and does not introduce you, I find it demeaning and rude - and I tell my friends when I do not do that it is because I do not remember the person's name, so they are forewarned). We walked towards the entrance, found ourselves in a couple dead-ends, and eventually found a path that led to the horses, closer to the rock formations, towards the camp grounds. The light was just beautiful the sun blinding, setting behind the range. It was 7:15 and we had to come back, so Ching-In walked us to the car, and when I got home I sent her a friend request on Facebook. It was great meeting her, it was such an unexpected encounter, she is one of those lovely people that just shine.

On the drive back, as we were about to exit the Ranch, we saw a man kneeling in front of a woman in a cabin. She sat on the edge of a porch with her legs dangling (the house was somewhat raised), he in front of her with his hands on her thighs, they were both looking at each other as if there were no one else in the world. Aimee recognized him as one of the workshop instructors, not the guy on the craft workshop, but someone known in the field. We started laughing because we have been talking about residencies and sex and relationships ever since we met basically (everyone has a weird story to tell), and in special that day, making all kinds of imagined comments about people and what they'd get themselves into. We laughed our way to the gate, as we saw another workshopper jogging in the dirty road towards the cabin - we were certain that the rumors would fly lose in the Ranch that night.

The road was empty, the sun was strong, behind the car, creating a long shadow in front of us, that looked like a little face with two eyes (our heads being the eyes). Aimee and I talked about all kinds of things, and I really got to know about her life, her history, her goals, etc. It was such an honest sharing that made me happy and at peace, actually. Just two strangers driving on a road, in no man's land, opening ourselves to the world. It's funny because when we set out for the drive I wondered if we would be able to spend this much time without getting on each other's nerves, and at the end I realized that I'd not take on this trip with anyone else.

As luck would have it, the return drive was as eventful as the going, and once again Google maps disappointed us. We quickly got into the road that would take us home (did I just call SFAI home?), and drove on it for the longest time (like 35 minutes) and in theory it would take us directly into Santa Fe, but 15 miles outside the city the road just ended, and we were faced with a road that went right or left, so we went right. And that road ended too (it was a business lane). My phone's battery was almost dead, and the signal was not good, and adding up to my phone not working well in general, we were literally stranded. Most of the business on that service drive seemed closed, and it was truly scary for a bit. My sister sent me a text she really needed to talk to me, and I texted her back saying my battery was dying and I had almost no bars. My phone died soon after, and Aimee told me to try hers, but since it was new, it took a while to figure out how to get directions on the GPS.

Eventually it all got worked out, we got back on track, got into Santa Fe, fueled the vehicle (one of the rules), about $20 total, and finally made it back to the institute. It was past 10 pm. We were exhausted, but still laughing, and tired and hungry and all that. We talked on the kitchen for a bit, there was no one around, and I had to go to bed. Plugged in my phone and saw I had a text back from my sister, telling me she'd call me tomorrow. At least, I thought, no one had died. Her tone in the text was serious, but because there was nothing I could do when where I was, I decided to go to bed rightaway.






- posted via iPad

Location:on the road, NM

once in a life time

Cobi joined Aimee and I on our gym trip (9 am), but it was a short one, as we had to meet Ellen at 10:30 am to go into town. We all got back a few minutes after ten, and all rushed to take a shower and get ready in such a short time.

We all finished before 10:20 somehow and Ellen was nowhere in sight. Later we learned she was on a phone call, on hold, and finally got a person (probably somewhere abroad) to help her. We got into her hybrid and drove to town, Aimee as the co-pilot, Cobi and I in the backseat, very spacious and comfortable.

Our first stop was the La Fonda Hotel, which is located somewhere between the Plaza and the Cathedral, to get a late breakfast. Luckily enough we found a parking spot rightaway, and noticed many stores who sold cowboy hats. We were sat at this round table in this very airy and colorful room without feeling like were were part of a caricature or New Mexican diorama (more on that later). The menu was familiar enough for the tourists that stay there but with enough local flair to make the same tourists feel like they are experiencing something new. I had an omelet with avocado, chorizo sausage, green chile and some kind of cheese typical in the area (for what I could tell). It came with a side of potatoes and I drank a decaf. The food was good, though I ended up asking for a side of salsa because mine needed some sort of dressing and the color red (the plate was orange-ish and with the omelet I had it looked quite monotone and low contrast).

We left, stopped at a few places for me to try hats on (I liked one but it was too stiff... I want a white straw hat with a straight brim and possibly a neck strap that looks like the one my grandfather wore, but only find stiff ones or ultra decorated ones, etc). No purchase thus far. We made it to the New Mexico Museum of Art, and fortunately they took our free passes (Aimee was going for 4 museums in an hour, and we wanted to see just one, so she had disappeared by then). They have this cute courtyard thing, and while most of the art was recent, the building was definitely historic, but not too glaringly so. The first area had a series of alcoves featuring "contemporary" artists in what I imagine to be a rotating situation. They called it "Alcove 12.2" and my favorite artist there was Steve Fitch, who photographed old drive-in movie screens and presented them as grids (much like the Becher's, but in color, and the landscape around it very arid, not European at all). Here is a link to his page's description at the museum site:

http://www.nmartmuseum.org/site/explore/current/alcove-12.0/alcove-12.2/steve-fitch.html

There was also an installation piece, which consisted of a car door with a projection on a window of a guy driving, with his background being computer-generated that was interesting, but I do not think it was part of the Alcove series, as his name is not in the site. I was going to photograph the info but the docent was one of those who did not stop talking and he proceeded to "explain" the piece as he saw it, which was a total turn off, specially since none of us had even said hi to him or asked for any help, he just sort of jumped from a dark corner and began talking (which was the opposite of all others we encountered, who looked extremely bored, most were texting). We went through an exhibition of New Mexican art, which included some O'Keeffe stuff (not as vaginal, but of interest was a photograph of her riding with a guy on a motorcycle and the motorcycle itself on display, listed as "mixed media" and from 1940 - funny enough it was not the only motorcycle there). Upstairs we encountered a photographic competition, which was actually somewhat interesting, followed by another room with some old masters of photography. By then Aimee showed up, having gone to the O'Keeffe museum in town and finding out her number two option was closed that day. We all ended up going downstairs and into a whole new wing (more contemporary in architecture) that featured 14,000 of art, and it ranged from bad painting, to santeros, to more O'Keeffes (one totally looked like a mountain range desguised as a camel toe, which was somewhat refreshing as a variation from all the vaginal pieces elsewhere, and specially the Judy Chicago work right next to it). Two things that come to mind is one large paper hand floating over a painting of two religious figures with Hindu appearance (but which I believe were Native pieces), that none of us were sure were supposed to go together, and a very large scale photographic reproduction of the first atomic bomb explosion in New Mexico, shot from five miles away and completely overwhelming in appearance. Aimee also took a great photo of Ellen, Cobi and I standing by the timeline of this exhibition, and I will include it here later on if she gives me permission.

By then my stomach started acting up, which sometimes happens when I eat stuff not prepared at home, or too spicy, or for no reason whatsoever, and I tried to meditate while we walked, talked, looked at stuff and laughed because I did not want to ruin the fun outing. More cowboy hat trying, Cobi and Ellen really wanted me to get a pink or aqua one (but they were the stiff kind, though only $20), but I resisted and said no. Amazingly enough we also avoided the Starbucks (the smell was hypnotic to me), and no gelato either. We walked across the Plaza, so lively and small town-ish, I hope to get back there eventually on my own as well, and made it to the New Mexico History Museum, located in the old Palace of Governors, which was totally diorama-drama, all small rooms with poor lighting and old crap that made the people back then look like pigmies (one chain armature was so small it was almost cute, almost doll-like, if one had a doll of an S&M gimp). Throughout there were cut outs of the floors and walls so one could see the foundations and adobe layers, which was interesting but lost their novelty after the third encounter. It was there that I got yelled (again) by an older docent giving a tour. I had been photographing throughout the space for quite a bit, and I was not the only one, when I came into a chapel where this woman was giving some long-winded explanation about something. I found a spot and stood by the railing (as the chapel itself was off limits), and raised my camera. I noticed that the woman stopped talking, and I imagined she was just lost in her narrative or finally bored with her own voice, made my aim and took a picture. She then said it really loud "sir, pictures are not allowed here, anywhere" (and fyi, there were absolutely NO signs anywhere), and I was so shocked by her passive aggressive behavior that I blurted out "Oh, I'm so sorry, but you should have said something before I took the picture, as there was plenty of time for that" and looked at her. I think her eyebrow actually fell off her face, some people smirked, and I just walked out. Ellen heard the whole thing and agreed with me she was annoying, to say the least. I should really have told the docent C U Next Tuesday (a week later), but I do not think she would've gotten the nuanced message.

Made into another room, tried to take pictures again and this time a younger docent told me nicely that it was not allowed, then went back to texting, and Ellen and I looked at all the crucified JC's there, with the New Mexican style of representation, with skinned off knees and gory bruising and flagellation, some with a tiny angel or mini-me holding a cup to collect the blood, usually positioned by a stick connecting the two figures, very Muppets-like. Those would have made great pictures.

Eventually we made it to a large but unappealing courtyard, because both Aimee and Ellen wanted to say hi to someone in the print shop, which was connected to the museum and had little displays of old press rooms and in the back an actual print shop where one could buy stuff. A man came out from behind a curtain and asked if we wanted to buy stuff, but none of us did (much like none of us wanting to give money to the ACLU when Daniel, a young but nice and a bit weird guy approached us when we went back to put money in the meter - as Cobi brilliantly put it, we could sign it but we could not pay it), and the guy they wanted to meet was out to lunch. So we left, walked around the building through the courtyard and made into this new wing where Aimee wanted us to see an exhibition of illuminated manuscripts. The setting was nice (we joked that our commons area should be more like the mezzanine lobby, with a large TV and many tables and couches, very airy and HUGE), and entered the exhibition. The work was actually pretty interesting, I specially liked the parallel photography exhibition, but really enjoyed some of the pages. But the installation itself was not good. the room was too dark and the circular motion created by the meditation room in the center (which had some nice golden moon paintings on the wall, but was mostly a WTF room), dictated that the whole space moved that way. So imagine a square room with a circle in the center, and then photos in the square walls (which I believe was painted black or a very dark color), and then the manuscripts/prints arranged parallel to the center circle, but with pieces on both sides so that the flow was awful. And most disappointing was the set of magnifying glasses at the left (and thus end) portion of the exhibition. All in all it was interesting, but the Illuminated pieces needed better lighting and consideration. We soon left, Aimee took more pictures of us, and made our way to the car, waving bye to Daniel as we left the Plaza.

By the time we were back I was pretty ill, found a package with some supplies that I ordered, made it to my room, and was there for a couple hours trying to feel human again. I imagine I lost five pounds during that time and surprisingly enough was not hungry until I actually ate some time after 6 pm. This down time had one nice side, which was a long chat with my dearest friend Merchant, who used to live in the area, and gave me the downlow on Santa Fe, a bit on SFAI, and what to do in town. He mentioned a spa called 10,000 Waves, and after visiting their site I want to do at least one day of pampering before I leave.

Worked a few hours in the studio, and between drawings (I always make one drawing and then take a break in order to look at it with fresh eyes), ran into Diane in the courtyard with some friends. She had this contraption that allowed one to see Venus passing across the sun, which to me was unexpectedly wonderful. She showed me the sun eclipse, also gorgeous and less frightening than my rapture dream, and I saw a different side of her - someone with a lot of energy, a lot of history and stories, and a lot on her mind - which was cool, seeing her out there doing something she is obviously passionate about.

Also had a great conversation with Mike, who is flying out here to drive back with me. Told him of possible routes, what to pack (if you are reading this, bring a bathing suit), and get really excited about going back home, which is making me want to experience everything this place have to offer sooner than later.

Later I finished phase one of the drawing/installation piece (yay! ahead of schedule), organized a shopping list, and went to get something to eat, which was a reduced dinner (english muffins with hummus and a cheese pizzette) because I ran out of salad stuff. Hung out a bit with Ellen and Marisa in the kitchen, then we went outside to the courtyard because John and Lisa were grilling (met Avery, Lisa's girlfriend, really pretty with a sweet smile) and remet Diane, one of Diane's friend from the Venus viewing. Aimee was there too, but after eating most of us left, because to me it felt a bit intrusive (plus I was not feeling 100% still), like it was their thing, and I should not eat their food (though I did have one aspargus, which was delish, though weirdly enough, it totally affected the smell of my pee (I thought one had to eat more than that, how funny)...

Went to my room to watch some Netflix, eventually ran into Cobi (and planned meeting time for gym), ran into John (who is planning to buy some houses here) and Aimee, who invited me to go to Ghost Ranch with her for a writing workshop, and so, because I think time here is going so fast already, and that opportunities may knock only once, I immediately said yes.

Now I really need to get that cowboy hat if we are going to hike around Ghost Ranch.




- posted via iPad

Location:Santa Fe, NM

let it flow

Rain, of all things, in all of places, almost all day long, yesterday, with lots of thunders and some hail to boot, but not everywhere in town.

Was able to make it to the gym before it started, met Aimee at the lobby and walked over together, though she left before me. Signed a few contracts, got some ducks in line, ate here and there and made it to the studio sometime after lunch. The usual, Cobi and Ellen working away, while I tried to get comfortable with the hard cement floor and terrible swivel high chair, too high for the table. Ended up working on the desk in the bedroom for a bit, and later, after a second trip to studio - when the day's goal was reached - ended up coming to the commons area to do some emailing on them comfy couches, even though we were supposed to stay away due to a meeting and reception with the board of trustees.

Actually met a couple of them, seemed like nice folks, and the wine they were serving was good too, only the bottle was taken away afterwards (personally I think that, since we were off limits in that area, stepping on eggs at best, for 3 hours, we should have been given the less than half bottle left... but whatever.

Ellen and I (Cobi maybe, Aimee in part) will go to breakfast and museum visiting tomorrow afternoon, so we got some free passes they have. I believe we can go to most museums in the region for free, which is pretty awesome. Met a new person in the office, Shayla Patton (Youth Education and Outreach Director), who's originally from Detroit. Really liked her, great style she has and a very good vibe. Told her to call me when she's in town visiting family (she has not lived there for many years but occasionally goes there for holidays and such). Also talked to my friend Jay at home, who is helping me out with the mail and keeping an eye for the house. I am worried about the house, I wonder if they are getting tons of rain too and if my lawn is getting on the long side..... As Mary would say, first world problems.

The big event for the night was the screening of Mad Men we postponed from the previous night. At the end only Chris, Carmie, Cobie and Marisa - who had not seen it since season 1 - stuck around, even though Ellen and Aimee were hanging out till almost its time. After some adjustments with the technology we began to watch it. Unfortunately I had accidentally read some headlines about what happened (though I did not know any specifics) at Slate, so I knew it would be a turning point. Carmie had a suspicion about Sally that was somewhat off, but the episode was mostly centered on Sally and Lane, both of which usually play sideline roles (much like last week's episode, which focused in a way on Joan, who is a sideline character time-wise, but we only do not think this way because she is just so stunning to look at). Without giving any details away, as some of you may not have watched it yet, I will say that for one character things started to happen the way they wanted it by sheer will and opposition but ended up elsewhere unexpected, while the other saw their lives unravel but eventually reached their goal, however bleak.

I see a studio practice sometimes like that. Sometimes you just need to follow your guts towards something and realize that the end product might not be what you expect, so being prepared to embrace whatever becomes helpful, if not vital. At times we try to control everything we do because we believe there is only one satisfying outcome we want to control. I find these days/times in the studio the least fulfilling, the most anti-climatic, but they too have their place. Much like the rain here, I am unexpectedly ahead of schedule here, and really do not know what I will do when I finish phase 1 of my piece. So like the second character, I am following a path that there is only one end. But I'm also looking forward to the uncharted territories this journey will soon take me. I'll just have to go with the flow.





- posted via iPad

Location:Santa Fe, NM

hung over

Sometimes a day starts one way and ends completely differently than you expected. Did not have too much on my plate, plan-wise, as I feel I am ahead of schedule here. Waiting for some supplies to arrive so that I can spend more time making art than writing, which is still not the case.

Had a great conversation with Aimee in the courtyard at breakfast, it was just nice to sit outside. Called my friend Darren for his birthday, which was awesome to catch up and feel close to someone you've known for ever (twenty-one years) but that lives far away. Phone conversations seem to be out these days, between tweets and chats and texts, and seeing everyone's lives on Facebook, phone talking is dying. I never use my minutes anymore, and ten years ago I could not wait till my "unlimited" night minutes started. It is weird how the same technology that brings us together, keeps us apart (I'm talking about you, Miss Internet!).

After finding bird poop on my crotch (which, according to Marisa, was a sign of good luck in the sex department - not holding my breath), took a shower, gathered my garbage in room, and did one load of laundry (folded and put it all away as well - I know, I was impressed too). Worked in the studio for an hour and then it was lunch time, so I made a salad and a peanut butter sandwich. Ate again in the courtyard and Ellen joined me, as always a pleasant company and energy with her (afterwards I even put away the dishes from the dishwasher, and reloaded the machine - I know, jaw drop, Halina would be shocked). My back had been bothering me a lot, in that usual spot, so I went to my room to lie down for a bit and see if it got better. Also did some yoga poses and even popped my back, but to no avail. Ended up taking a couple Advils, which is totally a no no for me, as I avoid painkillers of all costs since for ever. Eventually they kicked in.

Went back to the studio, worked for another hour or so, and then put together a short power point for the salon planned for the evening. Throughout the day there were many email exchanges where the Salon+Mad Men screening turned into a Potluck+Salon+Mad Men screening. It was originally set to begin at 9 pm and by mid afternoon it got rescheduled to start at 7:30. By 4 o'clock I was done with everything I had planned on doing that day, and because I wanted to take the weekend off from writing reports, I decided to read a book, so I grabbed the 300 page tome on Nancy Holts' Sightlines exhibition, and began reading from page one, on the huge and comfy leather sectional in the commons area (completely underused). Several people walked by, telling me that I looked like Sunday. Because of the AC system, that area of the house was so cold I ended up putting a hoodie and socks and later even long pants, a first for me in about two weeks now. I actually got to read about 40 pages of the catalogue and leafed through the entire book. I think I will read her writing first before going into the interview and the critical essays (read only one so far, out of 5 I believe). Hoping to finish the book this week and maybe next week write a post on the exhibition.

I eventually put the book down because a lot of people just kept showing up, everybody seemed to be hungry and bored, or at least not in the mood to work in the studio. Which I think is a good point of the residency, when the obsession of working 24/7 ends and we realize that getting to know each other as people is just as important, in life and in art. Cobi, Ellen and I talked for the longest, with Aimee and Marisa joining in intermittently. Ellen and I (and Rita and eventually Charlie) were contributing with wine for the pot luck (I eventually grabbed a bag of bread SFAI provides us gratis as another one of my contributions, more as a joke than anything else - nobody ate it but they laughed at least). Marisa made a yummy salad, Cobi a tasty but randomly very spicy Guacamole, and Aimee a tofu soup, Chris and Carmin providing the risotto. The afternoon dragged, we almost sent out an email asking people to show up at 7, or 6:30 instead, but decided to eat something in the meantime. Ellen researched on the computer at the commons for stuff to do, so on Tuesday we'll be having a late breakfast in town and then see a museum, a fun little field trip to break the isolation. I am thinking of photographing the grounds today, if it is not too hot. Oh, yesterday actually rained for a bit, it was such a surprise!

Eventually everybody showed up (except Charlie, he came late thinking it was still at 9 pm) and we spent a long time at the dinner table, with all kinds of random and funny parallel conversations that you had to be there to make sense. Everyone overate, I believe, and I definitely overdrank, specially since I am such a light weight. By the time we got to the Salon part of the evening we all had polished two bottles of wine, with two half drunk and another popped open (mind you the altitude probably sped up the inebriation process).

The first person to show and tell was Ellen. She gave us an overview of what she's working on, a book project dealing with control, that connects to performances she does, and vice versa. She also showed us a couple videos of performances which were both beautiful and weird, almost funny but mostly odd, in a good way. Next we had Cobi showing his paintings and drawings from his website, really amazing work that is both personal (as a lot of it includes himself and his trans-history and family), and yet connects to the history of western art and representation and contemporary issues. We went to their studios at the end of the evening to see some of the stuff in person.

I know I am going to get this out of sequence, blame it on the three-buck-Chuck I was nursing, but we heard readings from Carmin (a very touching poem about someone's entire life, from sexual awakening, to separation, to reunification and eventually death, as well as the prologue of her novel, which to me sounded very much like an Epic poem, she had a great reading voice too), Rita (an incredibly hilarious passage on her current book, about a poetry club in a boarding school for girls - she has great intonation and comedic timing, it was extremely enjoyable to listen to, I adore her sense of humor), and Chris (who read different poem series, one based on the days of the week and the other about compound words, like blowjob, which were actually very dark and insightful and beautiful - I am always amazed by men who write beautiful poetry, because it always seems so unlikely, so unexpected). Needless to say, I want to read their stuff when they come out in press right away (as much as I want to have all the artists over as visiting ones at school).

Aimee showed a video that delineated her process of paper-making, which is extremely amazing, complicated, almost miraculous (imagine a transparent goop that turns into a two ply paper through a series of very specific steps using very basic materials, like a bamboo sheet and string), and we all asked questions about the history and purpose, which were so interesting (the kind of paper she makes - she's the only person in the US making it, she has a print shop in Ohio - can be used for both utilitarian purposes, such as wall and floor covering, and sacred of fine art needs, which I find fascinating, and makes me think of the materials one can use in art, and the repurposing a lot of Detroit artists undertake. Charlie showed us his work from his site, a mixture of sculpture and responsive objects, but also incorporating prints and images with processes he's invented. Of all the people here, he seems to have worn so many different hats (scientist, journalist, photographer, now artist), although it could be that he just talks more openly about it than the others (though during the meal I learned all kinds of stuff from the people: Cobi growing up in a mobile home in California with a swamp cooling system, Marisa spending her Junior year in Israel, Chris and Carmin living on a boat at the Hudson as crews to an educational program, Ellen being a yoga instructor, Aimee a Fulbright Scholar, etc). I asked Charlie if we could go to the place where his work will be shown (a 360 articulated planetarium set up with 7 point surround sound) and he said he'd arrange it, which should be another fun field trip for us all.

The last act at the room was live singing/performing by Marisa. She is such an interesting character, go figure I love spending time with her, my Jewish envy acting up again? She is so witty and serious at the same time, but totally lets her hair down. She sang three sounds while playing her guitar in a rocking chair. Her chords and voices so soft and strong, there was such an emotional outpouring from her, the whole room disappeared, and we were all in silence, a smile on our faces, at times I was on the verge of tears - three-buck-Chuck long gone, real emotion here. I am always in awe of people who can play instruments and make beautiful sound with their voices, because I cannot do either and secretly wish I could. Voice and singing is just a lost cause with me, being that I am completely tone-deaf and perhaps just a bit deaf in general (right year mostly). But her stuff was good too. When she sang it was as if a spot light shone on her, and in response, her light bounced on us. I really wished I had video taped it. Even though she is here as a writer, she decided to perform her music for us, and save some writing for later. We were all glad she did.

Unfortunately I was left to be the last person, and that was a tough act to follow. I completely felt and still feel that I am the least interesting and talented person here, and being over my wine edge probably did not help either. I showed them what I was doing in the studio at home, and how that would relate to the stuff i am doing here. Then I showed them two older pieces that are similar in form so they can understand how the drawings will interact with the video projection. By then everyone was so tired that we even skipped the Mad Men screening (which we'll do tonight).

It is really an honor to live among such talented bunch, and I feel that because of all this sharing so early in the month, we'll have a better time in all the other complicated aspects of being in a residency. I'm looking forward to our next get-together.





- posted via iPad

Location:Santa Fe, NM

time

My contacts arrived, so I felt like myself once again, still not used to the glasses, their weight, etc. We had an orientation at 10 am, so there wasn't much to be done between breakfast and that, so I took a long shower and blow-dried my hair, which looked big and puff for just a few minutes, also looked extremely dry.

With the exception of Agnes, whom I saw early in the morning before she went to get her rental and leave town, everyone was in the meeting, in the courtyard. The usual stuff was said, strawberries were delish and I successfully avoided the donut box on the table. At the end of the meeting I mentioned that some of us were going into town to look/walk around and Chris mentioned doing an informal get together/studio talk on Sunday. After several email exchange we decided to meet at 3:10 to go to town and do the get together at 8 pm on Sunday night, followed by a screening of the new Mad Men episode (yay).

Worked in the studio for a while, finished two large drawings (phase one) and did a self portrait using a webcam as a mirror. I think the idea was better than the result, I used conte crayons, red and black, which made for an interesting look, but the drawing itself sucked, as the proportions were all wrong (I moved too much, cam was too dark, etc), and because I was wearing my headphones it looks like I have these two very large and distorted ears. I also added another layer on the small paintings, which is going slow, as it usually does, so I hope the other 8 canvases arrive soon, so that I can work on multiple pieces at the same time. I'll be done with the large drawings in three days as well, so then the more complicated phases will come. I have to decide if I will make it as one long piece (220" wide) or shorter one (110"), either one row of ten drawings 22"x 30" or two rows of five with the same measure. Actually got an email from the gallery director, asking for promo picture and title of show (in October), which made this upcoming solo experience very real all of a sudden. I'm confident it will be a good show, I just hope I get to finish everything I want to do, which is this large drawing/projection piece, one more video piece (for a diptych), finish two paintings I started in my studio at home, and do at least two more paintings. I actually hope to do two more in the Fall, after this show opens, for the same series, just in case I get to show these again in 2013.

Ran into John at lunch time, and he told me about a BBQ at a friend's and asked me if I wanted to go. I said sure, but told him of the plans we had, so at the end he told me he'd text us around 5 to see where things were. He never did text but showed up in my studio later that day, closer to 8 pm, and I had just woken up from a nap, so I ended up not going with him (he was also gonna bike there, and I was just heat and altitude exhausted by then). I feel bad, I hope he was not offended, he is such a sweet guy, I hope other invitations arise.

So, backtracking a bit, we all met at the lobby at 3:10, everyone showed up with the exception of Charlie, who had gone see the location for his surround sound and image piece he is here to work on. I think he is very much into spending time on his own, which is fine, but he is an interesting guy to talk to. Chris offered to drive, nobody really wanted to drive, because everyone who had their car here drove for at least two days to get here, so the last thing we wanted to do is sit in front of the wheel (I'm glad I wasn't the only whiner lol). Chris used one of the SFAI cars (an awesome deal, one can borrow their cars for $30 a month and use it for 3 hours at a time, and fill up the tank each time). I ended up driving the second car (good ol' Fiona, who proved to be an asset in U turning in the narrow streets of the downtown area, great for parking). There were 8 of us, four artists and four writers, and funny enough this is how the cars were divided. Aimee sat in the front with me with a map and Cobi and Ellen sat in the back - they were so cute, like kids, having their own conversation in the back, giggles and all - and Aimee and I like the parents, stressed, trying not to lose track of Chris, whom I followed (though he wasn't sure where we were going).

Our first stop was Canyon Road, a very narrow street with tons of galleries and shops, all in the Adobe style, though most looked authentic. It was hot as hell and this morning I noticed I sunburned my scalp, not a flattering look, even worse when it starts to peel. I really need to get that cowboy hat. Canyon Road was exactly what I expected, a mix of bad art (wolves and moons, metal cut out silhouettes, touristy stuff, most of it highly entertaining actually), and some high art (surprisingly very pricey, very common seeing stuff in the $20,000 range). Please note that "bad" and "high" were here used very tongue-in-cheek. As I talked to Cobi, if someone makes something that I may not like, but it sells for a bundle of money, good for them. Likewise, if someone likes to make art that does not appeal to me, that is awesome as well, because as long as the creator gets something out of it, who cares? I also thought that some stuff, if we had better context, might be consider very good art, but that walking into a touristy area with a gallery with one piece by one artist, in a room filled with 20 such pieces, is not the proper context either. Maybe if the town offered only solo shows we could get a better sense of each artist's journey - I imagine a group show with the residents, where each person had only one piece with no explanation might come across just as problematic. This actually might happen in the future, as the works we donate to SFAI at the end of the residency, if not sold at a fundraiser, might get curated into exhibitions elsewhere (they do it from time to time, we were told). But back at Canyon Road, there was indeed a lot of schlock there, tons of large scale realistic metal sculptures (from bears to naked couples embracing), everywhere - public art or pubic art, New Mexico style?

People were getting bored, and overheated, so we got into the car and drove to the Plaza, and were lucky enough to find parking right away. Walked a bit around the area, also very cool and very kitschy and touristy all at once, and ended up in a gelato store (I know, I broke the diet, but could not resist the sea-salted caramel and the chocolate-hazelnut flavors - ordered a small). we all sat there and talked. I tried to talk more to the writers, like Rita and Marissa (whom I really like), because I figured I'd be spending all my time with the artists. everybody looked spent, so we walked towards the cars, with a brief stop at the church (beautiful on the outside, people laying around on the lawn like it was a park or Notre Dame in Paris, cheesy on the inside) and divided into the same groups again, as all the writers needed to go food-shopping. I definitely have to go spend a whole day out there, or several days, and visit every single gallery there is (and not the three or four we went to), on both locations, probably on my own, with a cowboy hat and a camera. Also want to take advantage of all the free passes we get to go to the museums in the area, even if they are tacky and not of my particular interest, just because I should take advantage of it all, because who knows when I'll be back (sadly enough SITE is in between shows, but I am hoping Nancy Holt shows up to deinstall her show at the end of the month, before I leave.

By the time we got back here I was exhausted, and decided to take a nap in my room. I'm not sure I actually slept much, maybe 15 minutes total, but I laid in bed for a couple hours, completely spent. Maybe the altitude and heat are affecting me more than I thought. After working in the studio for a bit, and writing a report in the library for about an hour, I eat some dinner in the courtyard - so quiet and nice - watched some Netflix, and went to bed. Thinking of Nancy Holt's "Boomerang" piece, in the gallery, I felt that time at time stretched and stayed still, as if we were all suspended, and only thoughts floating and bouncing back as a means to understand these new surroundings.




- posted via iPad

Location:Santa Fe, NM

connecting the dots

After waking up, taking vitamins, in the bathroom I heard my neighbor, Aimee brushing her teeth with her Sonicare, so I turned my own on as a way of saying "good morning". Took a shower and realized I forgot to bring my breakfast food, so I walked outside to go to the grocery store, and the weather was surprisingly chilly. I was told that it was possible to jump the fence, that meets the back of the supermarket, but I did not find the low passage, so to speak (later I learned that the sideways shopping carts had been removed). So once again I ended up driving somewhere very close by.

The staff at the Smith's store were so friendly and nice and helped me find everything I could not, on my own (noticed tons of local stuff, at one point I thought they did not sell bread, just tortillas). Bought my usual items - mixed greens, tomatoes, mushrooms, bananas, english muffin, turkey breast, string cheese, hummus, coconut milk - and added an organic cereal (whole wheat honey O's) which should last until the next food shipment arrives.

Had breakfast in the kitchen, ran into Cobi making coffee, and later met Diane (Executive Director), who had just returned from France with Katie. Learned from her it might be possible to schedule two other months of the residency (we are allowed three at most) within the calendar year if it works out with the schedule. I might do that but will probably apply to other programs first. Many of the residents I have talked to have gone to other places so I might try some of theirs first.

After breakfast ran into Aimee and she told me she was going to the gym, and invited me to come along. She is so nice to talk to. She told me about the music practice room - she is a classically trained violinist as well - and some of her experiences from the previous month, this being the beginning of her second month here. The gym was old but doable, and there were only two other people there besides us and the supervisor, and only one of those people were a weirdo. I did very little, just 30 minutes of cardio and two reps with the weights; their machines seem to be from the 80s or earlier, not sure if I even know how to use them. Since they are open only now M-F 9-4 I'll take the weekends off, but going there at 9, late for me, will become part of my new routine. Oh, I saw a bunny on the way there.

When I got back I decided to do some more shopping, so I ordered a wireless Beats headset online (for the studio, I think the earbuds would kill me after a whole month), picked it up at the local store and added an iPad keyboard to the mix (which I am using right now, thank you Best Buy charge card), found an Aveda Salon (got some shampoo), and got lost until I found a Starbucks (it was an iced latte, venti decaf skim 2 Splenda, kind of day). Made my way back to SFAI without too much trouble and came into my room to charge the new toys. All work well, but not perfectly. The iPad keyboard works best in the horizontal mode, but many apps do not flip that way. It is not very stable as a vertical, but for now it is just fine. The headphones sound wonderful, really soft on the year, but at times there was some interference, and I imagine it was picking up a lot of signals from the room (songs would skip a couple bits and beats), nothing out of this world though. I imagine that when I upgrade to a better phone that will be solved.

Started working on my report for Columbia College (just noticed that the autocorrect does not work with the keyboard), and so far it is two pages long and I am 1/3 of the way done. This will need a lot of editing, but I think in two days I can write down all the main ideas and edit for the following week, and still meet the deadline of June 15. Also got an email with the materials I am supposed to review for a Full Professor review I am doing, but fortunately the deadline is in September (this is the first time someone has ever given me a private fax number, not even sure what this exactly means, but I feel very much like a 1990s James Bond). Adding to this list are three blog entries I want to do for art-sight, and my plate will be full in the writing department this month.

Spend quite some time in the studio yesterday, finished another large drawing, made two small drawing exercises, and worked on two small paintings. As I am waiting for supplies to arrive I feel as if my pacing is not working out at all. I am working too fast. Compiled by my hard-working studio mates I feel as if I am not doing enough, or not spending enough time there. So my new strategy will have to change. I will now make two or three large drawings per day and get done with phase one of the new projection piece sooner rather than later. I think I have three or four phases for this piece, with a fifth one done at home. But before leaving here I will have to make some decisions on how the piece will be displayed, and if indeed it will have two or one channel - a visual, spatial, and technical (thus financial) dilemma.

Went back to my room to take a nap, but did not fall asleep. Was trying to decide what to do for the rest of the night - write, Netflix, or else. The place was dead, dead and dark after the sun went down. I guess there are a lot of light switches that need to be turned on, which is not the case during the day with all the windows and skylights everywhere. I decided to walk around to see if I was alone in the building, so I grabbed a bottle of water and acted as if I was gonna get it filled (which is silly, as the water is potable from the faucet). Ran into Ellen, my studio mate, who was working in the computer. Earlier in the day we talked a lot at lunch, she is really nice and funny. She actually went to grad school at USF and know a couple people I know there. Later that day she commented on an email I had sent to the group, about going to an opening reception later in the month and signing up for a workshop (she's gonna do it too, the Stop Motion animation one). We started talking about the place and the people, how no one was around, and we were about to pop open a bottle of wine when Charles, a handsome new resident from NYC walked by and offered us some beer. The three of us talked for quite a bit (he is working on this cool project that will be shown in this planetarium-like space in town), and eventually Cobi joined us as well. That was the typical residency experience, where everyone tries to talk about themselves but careful not to be too annoying (I think Charles and I were, as Ellen eventually just left, but not before confirming that on Saturday we'll do some walking in town). Eventually Agnes (another studio mate, though we r never there at the same time), John and Aimee walked in and joined the convo. We all moved to the courtyard, as they building was freezing (the commons areas r very cold, the bedrooms and studios very warm), while we waited for a new resident, Marissa - a writer - to arrive. We all talked for hours, Aimee explained to me a lot of the drama that happened the previous month (having to do with access to the wet room, where some food and booze is kept, and the Nancy Holt exhibition). At one point Chris, one of the writers from the duo with Carmin, showed up, and disappeared, entering from one door and exiting through another (we were in the atrium looking through a glass wall, he was accessing the controversial wet room, it was very weird and funny how he kept popping up everywhere and just waving at us. We all eventually sat down on one of the tables and talked until past midnight, and learned a bit about everyone else, which was great. Agnes is going on a field trip to Sedona for a few days, so not sure when I will see her again in the studio. I am sure Aimee and I will go to the gym together on a daily basis. People are still testing one another at this point, but I think ties are being forged. Good people, good times.

This morning a 10 am we will have our breakfast orientation (more like mid-morning snack for me), so this will be the one time we will all be face to face, sans Agnes unfortunately. She is a pretty interesting character, an older French woman that is somewhat esoteric (she already sensed some of my energy, she is somewhat claravoyant, or at least empathic), and has no problems speaking her mind, in a very cleaver and deep manner that is not stuffy. She simultaneously remind me of three people I know (my friend Tijen from college, my aunt Celia/Halie, and artist Anna Tomzac), but she is nothing like them at all at the same time. I am sure these people I am meeting now will later be reminded by other people I encounter in life.





- posted via iPad

Location:Santa Fe, NM

everything is new

What a day. Very uneventful and calm in so many ways, but such a great one. After feeling like a pariah at the free breakfast at the Holiday Inn Express I wrote to the peeps at the Santa Fe Art Institute (SFAI) asking what time I could show up. Katie, the main contact (Residency Director), was still out of town (she went to France, to Nantes and Paris, to work out some partnerships they have over there), and she'd arrive in the afternoon. Michelle (Deputy Director), sent me very detailed directions and told me to come by around eleven, so I packed my car and headed there as soon as possible.

The campus was extremely close to where I was staying, and there was tons of signage, so the directions were not really needed, but totally appreciated. SFAI sits within the grounds of and Art and Design University, though they are completely independent, a 503 type of thing. The building, following the modern Adobe architecture style, houses a large gallery (with an incredible Nancy Holt exhibition which I will write about on art-sight soon), administrative offices, the residency dorms (12 beautiful large rooms with private baths and queen size beds, all with outdoor access), and the studios. Shaped in the atrium style, a lovely courtyard at the center with tables and trees, where a mean birdie mom lives (I was told to be aware if I go out to eat).

I walked in and met Cathy (Administrative Officer), whom I immediately loved. I think her smile and bright brown eyes made me feel comfortable right away, and she was very helpful. I briefly met Michelle, also very nice (but she had to talk to some folks that came in the same time as I did), so Cathy introduced me to Lisa (Youth Education & Outreach Assistant/Teaching Artist) who gave me the grand tour. She took me to my quarters (room 5), right next to the RA's, John (whom I met later that day). When I got there there were 4 residents already in, and 2 more arrived since, I think, though I did not meet all of them. The grounds are awesome and I plan on extensively photographing it at some point. I was shown my studio, which I will share with three other people, but my corner is very large, larger than my studio at the Balloon Factory by two times, but not as private, which is fine. I met one young guy, I think his name is Colby (and for what I gathered he drove from Peoria, IL, around the same time as I did), and later met this woman from Colorado who will be moving to West Virginia to teach this Fall. Also met this really nice woman from New York (who is staying here for 3 months), can't remember her name, but she has a studio in a different part of the building. Met this guy and this woman, I think they are a couple, very nice, but again have no idea their names. As I suspected, I think I am the oldest person here.

Once I figured out my surroundings I started unloading my crap, which was totally embarrassing (but no one seemed to care, can't believe there is more stuff to come in the mail lol), and actually ran into Katie, who is just completely adorable, a great smile and energy. In fact, everyone here is so nice I wish I had signed up to stay the whole summer. I completely recommend this residency, it is very classy, and the people über nice. The commons areas, kitchen and dining and living room, with computers and printers, are also very nice, clean, open, well lit.

After I moved into my room and unpacked (the room is so large all my stuff fit, no problem), went to the studio and cleaned the tables and walls, and begin working on a drawing immediately. I plan on making ten such drawings to serve as the background of a synchronized two channel video projection piece. This is my main project for the residency, and the drawing part will be done probably in ten days. I then need to decide on their configuration so that I can begin painting, and will work out the video part back home, with a more powerful computer than my laptop. This first drawing is 80% done. Had to go to the art supply store to get some workable fixative, which I did not feel I could bring from home because of the heat in the car. Of course the store was nearby and of course I got lost (drove past it lol), and it took me a while to get back around.Traffic is weird here, it is heavy but a bit slow, but I am loving the ability of taking U-turns almost everywhere. The store, Artisan, was huge, and I found everything I needed and ended up buying two 10"x 10" canvases to begin a side project (they ordered eight more for me, again, extremely friendly people). The guy who checked me out also gave me a discount (I asked), and later I found out all artists at the residency get them, 10% I believe.

Got back to the studio, worked for another couple hours, chatted with new studio mate (still cant remember her name, and have to meet one French woman in the same space), and then decided to get something to eat. Getting back on my diet plan, which I have not followed during the drive (but ate little during the actual drives), wish me good luck. There is a festival in town called "Currents 2012 - The Santa Fe International New Media Festival" which opens later in the month. I'm excited about it and might even sign up for a workshop they will offer, good timing :-)

Today I plan on going to the gym on campus, which is only available from 9 to 4, another change for me. It's 6:3o am here, and I suspect most everyone is asleep. Last night I ended up going to my room around 7 pm, watched Mad Men on my laptop (what an amazing episode, the Jaguar account one), watched another show on Netflix, did random Internet stuff, and went to sleep around 10 pm local time. Not sure what people do here at night, feeling a little shy still, we'll see what goes on tonight!







- posted via iPad

Location:Santa Fe, New Mexico